Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Coming off perhaps the longest election of all eternity, one aspect that stands out for me is the relentless demand for voting. Particularly for young people, the act of voting transcended the realm of obligation and became more of a societal requirement. 2004's "Vote or Die" campaign resurrected itself as "Don't Vote": a series of videos where celebrities tell us to be apathetic about voting ... and then hit us with a psych! You just got sarcasm'd! In reality, the "Don't Vote" videos are giving the viewer a wink which nonverbally says "we're messin' around; go vote, you moron!"

Inarguably, such campaigns have been successful. The youth turnout was very large in 2004 and even larger this year. 24 million of them, in fact, aged 18 to 29 showed up, which is an increase of 2.2 million from 2004. While it's great to see participation in our political process, one wonders about the old newspaper to voting question, which goes something like this: "About half the population vote and about half read the newspaper. Let's hope it's the same half." Indeed, I question who is the better person: an uninformed voter, or an informed abstainer. On the other hand, perhaps pressuring us into the voting booth is justified: by voting for or against a candidate, we're investing ourselves in those individuals. Thus, we follow their progress and learn as we go. Whether the ends justify the means is for someone wiser than me to decide.

Which leads me to gaming. Gaming is both entertainment and an art-form. It's evolved from an experiment by college researchers to a hobby for electronic enthusiasts to a distraction for bar patrons to a culture for children before finally reaching its final stage of metamorphosis: a global juggernaut larger than film and music which appeals to an incredibly diverse group of folks. And as it becomes more relevant in our society, those of us who follow it closely should feel a responsibility to stay informed and take action when appropriate and/or necessary. Last week I presented a list of items that divides gamers. Here's the Top 5 issues that should leave you standing shoulder to shoulder with your gaming comrades.

"To each their own." It's a simple rule that, if universally followed, could result in world peace. On the other hand, if people didn't go online to bitch at each other about video games, then many bloggers would be collecting unemployment. I can't speak for every other hobby that exists, but I imagine that fly-fishing and glass-blowing message boards are considerably more pleasant than gaming forums.

So as it is, the gaming world is chock full of debate. Hrmm, scratch that. The word "debate" conjures impressions of two well-groomed individuals standing behind podiums and taking turns eloquently addressing issues presented to them by a moderator. For every one of these moments, you get a couple thousand boring ones. But when the forum is switched to the Internet, the dialogue transforms into a partisan torrent of vitriol. While political campaigning may be viewed as a chess match between experts, an appropriate metaphor for gaming and Internet debate in general can be found in the gigantic brawl at the end of 1977's Slap Shot.

In particular, Nintendo fanboys seem to simultaneously be a large source of and recipients to such slander. Perhaps it's due to Nintendo's extensive gaming history (especially when compared to Sony and Microsoft). Similarly, many of these Fanboys grew up with Nintendo, with the NES and SNES occasionally acting as a babysitter. For some, an attack on Nintendo is equal to or worse than an attack on one's family. To such individuals, I say take it easy. I'm certainly not above the label of "Nintendo Fanboy" (look at the name of this site for crying out loud), but I do try my best to apply sound reason and understanding to such hostility. I now present to you a look at 5 common weapons used in battle against Nintendo, an analysis of each argument, and how best a supporter of Nintendo should respond.

As someone who writes on the Internets, I do a lot of reading as well. As just about any successful author will advise, if I want to be a better writer then I should be reading as much as possible. Thus, I tend to spend a good amount of time scouring the gaming websites and reading commentary from just about anyone. I wouldn't insult anyone by pointing out flaws in their work (as I'm host to many of my own), but it is sufficient to say that there is great diversity in the quality and other general attributes of gaming commentary. One source that I do consistently enjoy comes from GoNintendo's head honcho, known as RawmeatCowboy. Equal parts Nintendo fan and beard enthusiast, RMC has a passion for gaming unmatched by nearly anyone else in the entire industry. Whereas some journalists and commentators may give off an impression of jaded cynicism, this particular blogger is a bundle of video game-loving joy. Though he's not quite the wordsmith of a Jerry Holkins, his joy and optimism transcend any potential criticism. And after all, that should be the reason we play video games: for happiness.

Stepping away from worshipping his shrine, I'll get back on target. In a recent post, RMC discusses offline multiplayer via a get-together involving several friends of his trying out Guitar Hero: World Tour. He states that multiplayer is more enjoyable in person than online, and I find it difficult to disagree. That is not to say that online multiplayer is garbage; quite the opposite is true. Aside from the obvious pragmatics of not always being able to round up a few friends to play a game you enjoy, there's the global aspect behind online gaming. Though I've been battling people online via chess years before any major console had such capabilities, the enormous power of the technology didn't register with me until very recently. As I was connecting to an online race in Mario Kart Wii, the identification of racers on the globe really hit home. Realizing that I was simultaneously connecting with individuals from Japan, China, Germany, and England was strangely beautiful.

Despite the fascinating global implications of such connections, I remain a bit of a luddite in that I don't think there's anything better than having your friends in the same room with you while fighting with or against each other. Here's the Top 5 ways we recommend that you enjoy such opportunities.

In order to survive on these tough tubes, one usually needs to develop a biting sense of sarcasm. You know, where we make a statement and then italicize the second part of the sentence to indicate that this is where the funny is. When you work in cynicism, sentimentality and unfettered joy are difficult to host. You can't be contemptuous one moment but filled with child-like joy the next. Thus, we tend to judge the value of holidays based primarily on if it grants us a day off from work.

Yet one holiday that seems to entertain even the crabbiest of bloggers is Halloween. Around the world, the lead-up to October 31st has us enjoying the orange and black decorations, scanning late-night cable for horror movies, and attempting to rationalize buying abundant amounts of candy at the counter of the drug store. Sure, we can be as bitter and weathered as we allow ourselves to be, but there's no denying the joy of carving pumpkins, piecing together a costume, and perhaps even enjoying a good scare or two.

As gaming is always finding new ways to entertain us, fans of things that go bump in the night have no shortage of spooky games. Developers have been attempting to give us frights ever since the obscenely terrible Halloween for the Atari 2600. Good gameplay can survive regardless of technology, but generating a convincing scare is usually dependent on quality audio and visuals. Since top-notch technology and mature content have inconsistently been attributes of Nintendo, our favorite line of consoles is slightly lacking in good scares. But while the Silent Hills and Fatal Frames of the other guys have given us plenty of sleepless nights, Nintendo's consoles are home to a handful of underwear-changing moments. Here's the Top 5 moments that, speaking in strict technical terms, give us the heebie-jeebies.

This week marks the release of the highly anticipated Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. Poised to be more than the usual Metroidvania-romp, Ecclesia's glyph system coupled with great diversity in environments and level layout (we're apparently not stuck inside the castle anymore) has all of us whip-enthusiasts drooling with anticipation. To be honest, Konami could slap the word "Castlevania" on a box of assorted animal feces and we'd still pre-order. Here's the part where I'm supposed take a cheap shot at Castlevania Judgment, but admit it: no matter how many times we all spit on the brawler, we never seem to stop checking out movies or screenshots. Castlevania has us whipped; pardon the hideous pun.

Assuming I haven't lost all credibility after the Mega Man list, here's another stab at ranking the best of a legendary franchise. Unlike most other Top 5's, this list is not necessarily Nintendo-specific. Take a gander, and try to pretend that you don't know what number one is.

The video games as art debate is a ridiculous sham. It seems that many who fall on the "games are not art" side have rarely or never played a video game, often a product of an older generation. If your only experience with video games is hearing news reports about 7 year olds beating up hookers in Grand Theft Auto, then of course your view will be ignorant and bigoted. But that doesn't give critical validity to start creating arguments against that with which you are very unfamiliar. I know surprisingly little about Somalian Islamic Literature, which is why I don't make inflammatory statements about it. To suggest that any video game is incapable of being art is remarkably narrow-minded.

Television and movies choreograph all characters' actions and responses, leaving the viewer as a mere canvas on which the creator's views and reactions are imprinted. Though it's often that a viewer connects with a character and draws individual interpretations, their failures and triumphs can always be placed on the choices of the individual. With gaming, however, the connection can be just as deep, and to some, deeper. When our character fails, we grumble. When our character succeeds, we rejoice. Don't like the outcome? Well, then, you should've done things differently, dummy. While I'm not suggesting that games are better than film, they are simply different and arguably just as valid as high art. At a primitive level, it's not uncommon to punch the sofa in anger after failing a gaming objective. Just the same, it's nearly expected to vocalize with triumph after conquering the same obstacle. Emotional response does not automatically equal art, but creating something which vents one's senses and emotions and appeals to those of others certainly is. Different than stubbing your toe or finding 20 bucks in the street, gaming situations were carefully orchestrated to provide an experience which is dependent on the gamer to interpret. Why should emotions such as fear, love, and sadness be excluded from gaming?

Making my way down from my soapbox, I'll say that perhaps the most intimate display of emotion is crying. Here's the Top 5 moments in gaming that seem to get me every time. SPOILER ALERT: I hate having something ruined just as much as you do, so I'm giving a fair warning right now. This list contains spoilers for several high profile Nintendo titles. None are from the Wii (excluding the Virtual Console), but I will say that the fifth item refers to the WiiWare-bound Cave Story. If you haven't played the game and plan on purchasing it (which you definitely should!), please skip to number four.

This week's press conference from Nintendo was like Reggie himself coming to your door, clutching a bouquet of awesome announcements, and saying "I'm sorry about E3." Indeed, I can't help but think that just one of the awesome titles announced in the past week could have prevented much of the animosity hurled at Nintendo following their ho-hum presentation at the summer exhibition.

But then again, Nintendo has always been one to surprise us. They've made good moves and bad, interesting decisions coupled with utterly clueless assumptions, and made us wonder what the hell they were thinking while amazing us with what they're capable of. Here's the Top 5 biggest surprises unleashed by the Big N.

Ugh, I'm so sick with the obsession over Mega Man 9. WE GET IT, IT'S A RETRO GAME. WHOOPEE. No, seriously, I'm sick of my own obsession with it. I still haven't picked up Wario Land: Shake It!, de Blob, or NHL 2K9. That's mainly because I've spent every waking moment enjoying the blue bomber's latest outing. My Wii Fit board is scolding me for its lack of use, my girlfriend is feeling neglected, and apparently my judgment is slipping. But there's something about the game that just won't let go of me. The thing should be illegal for its extremely addictive nature, right next to heroin and Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.

I usually fall behind on discussing recent games, as I like to take awhile to fully absorb and process the arts and entertainment before I comment on it. But I think my Wii's play log will testify that I've made myself quite familiar with the title. The main quest is conquered, the event challenges are being slowly but steadily checked off the list, and I'm trying my best to climb the leaderboards of the time attack levels. Without any further ego-stroking, here's the top five things we love about Mega Man 9. Then we won't talk about it for a few weeks. Promise! ... maybe.

You know, I told myself (and others) that I wasn't going to do this. But I can't ignore it. Today is the day that Mega Man makes his glorious return. Like a modern V-day, the blue bomber is coming home and completing his duty of pleasing the hardcore enthusiasts. With a rarely-seen level of excitement and anticipation being dispersed by the gaming community, we might as well have Mega Man slowly ride the streets through a ticker-tape parade seated on top of a convertible. I didn't want to stir the pot by declaring what the best Mega Man games are due to some sacred cows surrounding the topic. But ignoring honesty for the sake of peace and comfort would be committing a great disservice to us all.

We decided to take a look at the highlights of the Mega Man series. Any title in the expansive universe was acceptable. But let's be honest: there's only going to be games from the original and X series (as if Mega Man Star Force stood a chance). And with any luck, today's release will find its way onto this list.

Here's a heads-up: you might not agree with these choices. I did my best to provide arguments of why every game belongs on this list and in the order that it does. In the interests of intelligent debate, please do the same in your rebuttals.

As the release of Mega Man 9 looms closer, the so-called "old school gamers" are about 17 pixels away from exploding out of their skin with anticipation. This is the retro gamer equivalent of a "Phan" witnessing a Phish reunion. The kid inside all of us, having been smothered behind flabby beer guts for years, is beginning to crawl towards the surface. I imagine there's quite a few younger gamers who scratch their heads at all of the love for comparatively prehistoric graphics and gameplay. However, if one were to wipe off the thick coat of nostalgia emblazoned onto the games of long ago, they'd often find enjoyable and satisfying titles. They're not definitively better or worse; just different from much of what is released today. Some prefer that, and they're hungry for more.

The biggest hurdle for those folks is commercial success. Not too long ago, retro revivals were rarely considered serious. After all, it would be silly to have Mega Man 9 released on a retail DVD disc. Yet with the success of downloadable services, the floodgates are now blown wide open. The slightly less hyped but similarly retro-themed Gradius: Rebirth was just released in Japan, and cowboy hat-clad developer Igarashi has stated that he's "very much looking into [WiiWare]." Perhaps the style of retro gaming is seeping into the bloodstream of major retail releases. Despite the beautiful hand-drawn graphics and cutscenes of Wario Land: Shake It!, the gameplay is heavily grounded in 2D. Perhaps we're experiencing a retro-renaissance, if I may quote Mr. Greenhough.

With this in mind, here's a few more dusty franchises we're nominating to be reborn through the birth canal of Nintendo's online service (wow, gross). These range from the unexpected to painfully obscure, so don't be offended if your favorite was not included. A small note: I excluded some IPs due to either a retro-esque presence on the GBA/DS or because they are likely destined for WiiWare. These include Mario, Castlevania, Contra and Metroid.

As someone who's been following Nintendo for quite awhile, they've almost never failed to surprise me. Though their origins are classic, Nintendo-developed games are continuously refined, retooled, and revitalized. Some may buy into that old standard line used mostly for musical artists that makes you sound cool: "their older stuff is better." Such broad generalizations are silly: to ignore Super Mario Galaxy because of a fetish for Super Mario Bros. would be dogmatic.

But for those of us growing long in the gaming tooth, we're led to wonder where all of these classic IPs are headed. It's hard to imagine a gaming world without Nintendo's current A-listers, but does anyone have a solid idea of what future iterations of our favorite franchises will be like? Now that just about every gangbuster franchise has been successfully embedded in 3D, we're at a loss as to the next big step for gaming.

Some of us have really good ideas, but I'm positively stumped as to where these franchises are going.

Gaming is a hobby, but sometimes it can feel like a job. As developers try to boost replayability, your gaming commitments can become anxiety-inducing. Just ask anyone who dared to attempt achieving 100% of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. At first, it's a fun and wonderful romp through a vivid world that's just oozing with life and character. By the end, you wish you'd never left Vice City. Did anyone here complete all of Super Smash Bros Brawl? I'm talking Classic Mode with every character, all of the Event matches, the target smashes, and every trophy and sticker available. At a certain point, some games can become an obligation rather than a means to entertainment.

Today being Labor Day in the US, let's take a break from completing every mission, collecting every star, and unlocking all bonus content. Sometime between your 11 AM rise from bed and your evening consumption of copious amounts of hot dogs at your family barbeque, take some time to truly enjoy gaming. Here's our Top 5 recommendations.

Rejoice, Wii-owners. You posses the only (un-modded) home console capable of hosting the greatest gaming catalogue of all-time. The Virtual Console's ability to provide an extensive back catalog coupled with the retail and WiiWare releases of Nintendo's latest instant-classics makes your system the inarguable flagship of Nintendo gaming. It's quite an amazing accomplishment: stuffing such immense gaming potency inside one little white box (save for disk space, you freakin' otaku).

Yet it'd be foolish and utterly fanboy-ish to act as if Nintendo were the all-powerful supreme chancellor of gaming. They are considered the best by many, but Nintendo is not the only company that creates amazing titles. Many of these come from third parties. Despite claims to the contrary, third party relations appear to be proceeding very well on the Wii. However, through a combination of first party titles on other systems as well as numerous issues which affect third party efforts, we must face the truth: good games sometimes go to non-Nintendo systems. Madness, right?! Here's our Top Five games that we wish Wii had.

Musicians have Vienna. Catholics have the Vatican. And gamers have Japan. While many significant contributions to the world of gaming have come from outside the Land of the Rising Sun, Japan is the unassailable fountainhead of modern video gaming. It's the birth and workplace of gaming giants such as Hideo Kojima, Shinji Mikami, Yuji Naka, and probably others. To say that Japan is a place that hardcore gamers need to check out is an understatement at best.

Recently, I took a week to visit my brother who teaches English at a Japanese university near Nagoya. Hundreds of thousands of words could be used to describe the wonderful food, the beautiful temples, and the unique culture of the country. But being a life-long gamer, I paid special attention to the distinct connection between the country and the gaming scene we all know and love. For the Top 5, I usually come up with a topic, then list the top five items for that topic in order. For this edition, it was truly difficult to narrow it down to only five. With that in mind, here's my best attempt at listing the Top 5 gaming elements of my time in Japan.

Man, there are those who really love to complain. After viewing Zero Punctuation's latest video, I've decided that the old phrase distributed liberally by parents and teachers is indeed very true: "you can't please everyone." Nintendo themselves must have felt this pretty hard after their E3 showing was widely perceived as sub-par. On the gamers' side, even those who were most disappointed usually turned to any of the numerous third party efforts for hope. Understanding that Zero Punctuation is mostly intended as farce, it's difficult to call them out. Yet one glaring assertion must be rebutted: E3 2008 was most definitely not the year of the sequel. In fact, on the Nintendo side, the exact opposite was true.

For the first time in a long while, I'm much more excited about upcoming third party releases than Nintendo titles as a whole (save for Wario Land: Shake It!). As those of us who braved the GameCube generation quickly learned, a console cannot survive on first party titles alone -- even those of the highest quality. Here are the top five original third party games that we are excited about.